What Children Must Realize

Children need to realize that they don't run the household and that there are distinct differences between children and adults. Too often parents take it for granted that children instinctively know this. These differences must be outlined so there is no ambiguity. Do your children know these differences?

• Children are not adults.
• Children have no authority over adults.
• Children do not tell adults what to do, how to speak, or how to act.
• Children do not make demands on adults.
• Children do not correct adults.
• Children do not interfere with or interject their comments or opinions in conversations held between adults.
• Children are expected to follow directions and requests made by adults. Adults may give a reason but are not required to explain or justify their actions or decisions to children.
• Children are not allowed to ask for an explanation or to demand a justification for an action or decision made by an adult. In other words, children should not be allowed to ask “why?” and adults should not be required to explain “why” to children.
• Children may have some choices, privileges and freedoms, but only those choices, privileges and freedoms that are given to them by their parents.
• Adults will always have special privileges.
• Children have no right to question the fairness of the special privileges or behaviors enjoyed by adults.
• Children have a legal right to adequate food, shelter, education, medical care and clothing. Parents are not required to give their children anything else. Parents are not required to be generous with their time, money or personal belongings.
• Children are not allowed to hit, kick, stomp, slam doors, throw anything or use any other physical or verbal means to express dissatisfaction or anger with a statement or a decision made by a parent or adult.
• Children are not allowed to hurt anyone or force anyone to do anything
• Children make a conscious choice to follow or break a house rule or treat parents or other adults in a disrespectful and discourteous manner
• Children must realize that the consequences for breaking a house rule may result in the loss of some freedom, choices and privileges.
• Children may not use the excuse that they did not know about a house rule or that they did not understand what type of behavior was expected. If a child is in doubt about a certain behavior or action, the child is expected to ask a parent or an adult beforehand whether that type of behavior or action is acceptable before engaging in the behavior.
• Children may not use “I didn’t know” or “No one told me” as an excuse for inappropriate behavior.

Building Character: Why Parenting Is Important

Good parenting is essential to helping children to develop “CHARACTER.” CHARACTER is built when children learn a variety of skills and behaviors that help them to develop emotionally and intellectually, so they can grow up to be fully functional, self-reliant, productive adults. These behaviors include teaching children how to:

• Interact with others (social skills)


• Weigh choices and use good judgment (decision-making)


• Plan for the future (goal-setting)


• Prepare for school work and other activities (time management)


• Spend wisely and save for the future (money management)


• Resolve disagreements and manage difficult situations (conflict management)


• Give back to society (volunteerism)


• Value and protect personal belongings and property (responsibility)


• Treat others the way you would want to be treated (respect)


• Follow through on what you say you are going to do (dependability)


• Examine things from different points of view (open mindedness)


• Think things through” or “think ahead” (critical thinking)


• Keep trying even if you fail (perseverance)


• Do your best or “give it your all” (excellence)


• Be truthful, honest and dependable (trustworthiness)


• Be compassionate, caring and have respect for individual differences by trying to feel the emotions of others (empathy)


• Learn to rely on your own abilities (self-reliance)

Remember, children know that parents are expected to set House Rules, delegate Chores and expect certain behaviors from their children. Rules, Chores and Discipline teach children important life skills and a play a key role in building CHARACTER. Being a good parent means making a committment to change your children's behavior, but BEFORE you attempt to change your child's behavior, make sure you recognize that you must first change your own behavior.