12 Chore Chart Tips For Success

12 Chore Chart Tips For Success

1. Be reasonable in your expectations. Research what chores your child may be capable of handling. Sometimes a chore is beyond a child’s ability level and sometimes a slight modification can help a child achieve success. Use age appropriate chores to include on your chore charts. If you want to teach your children to hang their clothes in their closets, make sure the clothing rod doesn’t need to be lowered to a more appropriate level. If you want the beds made neatly everyday, keep in mind that for young children, maneuvering a top sheet, duvet, quilt, and pillows can turn into a very big job. You may need to streamline or modify things in your home to make them more accessible to your children.

2. Be an example. If your children consistently see the grownups slacking off with their chores, chances are they will learn to do the same. Consider making a specific time of the day when most of the chores are performed. Everyone working together is much more motivating than someone slaving away while enviously listening to others laughing and playing.

3. Involve the kids in the process of selecting a chart. The more children feel they are involved in making decisions, the more they will feel ownership of those responsibilities. Consider holding a family council before implementing a new chore chart system. Allow some decisions to be made by the kids.

4. Consider your rewards.Are you going to make chores a requirement for an allowance? Are you going to allow chores to be done in exchange for other privileges? Is a sticker system the best fit for your family? Determine what reward system would best work with your family. Don’t forget to gently stress the obvious rewards of having a clean and organized home.

5. Make chore charts visual. Many children need a visual prop to help them completely understand new ideas. Making a chore chart or system visual can help them stay focused. Consider if people in your family have other learning tendencies. For example if you have a child who really needs to hear to understand. Consider reading the chores aloud to them. People who are tactile and kinetic learners may need to be able to physical cross off items on a list, or move completed cards from their flower pot, etc.

6. Have consequences without being harsh. If your children fail to complete their chores there have to be consequences. Sometimes the consequences are a natural occurrence. For example if your son always wears his favorite shirt on Fridays, but failed to collect all the laundry from his room, he’ll probably end up wearing a different shirt. Other times you may have to take away rewards, or other activities that are enjoyable. Don’t forget that many times we have extenuating circumstances that keeps us from performing a job well. Sometimes offering to help a child who has fallen behind can get them caught up without completely letting them off the hook.

7. Get organized before you expect everyone else too. If your home is in such disarray that nothing has its own place, it is very impractical to expect a child to put everything where it belongs. If your home and your systems of organization are a mess, chores will be a losing battle. First set up your home in a way that makes it possible for the family to complete chores. Try these beginning organizational articles for help in getting started.

8. Make sure there are breaks.All work and no play…well you know. Allow the kids to break up long chores. Surprise them by including fun activities in their chore charts. Slipping in a request for a swimming party among the regular chores can be very surprising and encourage children to actively check the charts.

9. Keep it interesting. Don’t feel locked into one system. If your kids get bored consider changing up the routine, the visuals, or possibly the rewards.

10. Supervise. Keeping an eye out for what is and isn’t getting done can help you determine what you can do to make the chore chart system more successful. Setting up chore charts doesn’t mean that the adult’s responsibility for delegated chores is completely gone. Like any good supervisor, parent’s must instead help make sure that the system is going smoothly. Due Date before dinner than before bed.

11. Train your workers. Most jobs require a training period and for many kids this can be helpful in a chore system. Parents often have expectations of how a job will be performed that can be different than their children’s. Teaching a child the process of a chore and what you expect from the finished result can go a long way in insuring success. Consider writing a short cleaning guide for certain chores or steps involved. Check out the fifteen minute cleanups for ideas.

12. Include homework and mandatory activities. Don’t forget that kids have other obligations besides chores. Make sure there is plenty of time for homework and other mandatory activities. If you see that a child is struggling under the weight of all they have to do, consider removing some responsibilities or activities to relieve the burden.

Create A Chore Chart: Teach Responsibility

Today's children expect parents to do everything for them -- including homework! How many times have your children asked you where their stuff is? Since when are parents responsible for keeping tabs on their children's Ipod? How many broken GameBoys and lost cell phones do parents have to replace before they realize that they have failed to teach their children responsibility?

Many "Baby Boomers" were never trained to be responsible and hence they have failed to teach this important characteristic to their children. As a result, children grow up without the important skills they need to succeed in a competitive world. So what would our homelife look like if parents actually took the time to teach children responsibility? Clean, happy and peaceful.

Today, responsible children are such a unique commodity in society. Responsible children are sought after for babysitting, lawn mowing, and other employment opportunities outside the home. Parents who have children who actively contribute to helping them run the household have more energy, because they are doing less tasks that now are being done by their children.
Home runs more smoothly with less stress and parents will be more likely to consider the option of having a larger family.

Responsibility should be taught at an early age. There are tasks which teach responsibility that even an infant can accomplish. What follows is a list responsibilities -- tasks which teach our children to be responsible, productive, and helpful. Take look at the list. Are your children learning responsibility in your home? (The following list is cumulative, that is, each age level should include the responsibilities prior to it.)

9 - 24 months

• Putting dirty clothes in hamper.
• "Helping" with grocery shopping (putting items in basket and on check-out counter, handing things to mom to be put away at home.)
• Cleaning with mom (give child a dust rag, child size broom, empty spray can/Windex bottle for "pretend" cleaning).
• Watering plants (with pre-measured amounts!).
• Beginning to help make beds - (begins with handing the pillows to mom until later).
  Yard work (helping collect trash and toys, etc.).
• Simple errands ("bring the diaper to mommy, please," etc.).

2 - 3 years

• As language develops, requiring politeness on a regular basis ("Yes ma'am", "No sir", "May I please be excused", greeting, etc.).
• Generally including child in every-day activities on a regular basis (cleaning, shopping, etc.).
• More complicated errands ("Take this towel and put it in the hamper", etc.).
  Laundry (beginning to help with sorting by mom handing him things to put in appropriate piles, transferring clothes from dryer to basket, etc.).
• Learning more specific neatness qualities (putting toys in proper spots).
• Taking his dishes to the sink and helping to clear table.
• Carrying groceries in from car (give child one light item or a small bag).
• General errands (carrying diaper bag into meeting, carrying mom's purse to the car, etc.).
  Simple decision-making ("Would you like juice or milk to drink?").
• Put books and magazines in a rack.
• Place napkins, plates, and silverware on the table.
• Clean up what they drop after eating.
• Toilet training.

3 -4 years

• Making bed (begins with watching mom -- mom helping child -- mom watching child) standards must be clear and reminders frequent.
• Keeping room neat and taking daily responsibility for it.
  Regular morning routine becoming established (getting dressed, cleaning room before breakfast).
• More complex decision-making ("Would you like to wear the blue or green pants?").
• Becoming "other-oriented" (drawing pictures for someone, making encouragement notes to dictate to mom, thank you notes for birthday gifts).
• Learning to use the telephone properly.
  Established and regular responsibilities (bedroom, getting the mail, emptying bathroom trash cans, etc.).
• Helping wash the car.
• Simple hygiene - brush teeth, wash and dry hands and face, and brush hair.
• Undress self - dress with some help.
• Carry boxed or canned goods from the grocery sacks to the proper shelf.

4 - 5 years

• Taking his laundry to designated place on laundry day.
• Sorting laundry with supervision.
• Begin learning to fold laundry and put it away.
• Hang socks, handkerchiefs, and washcloths on a low line.
• Vacuuming/sweeping.
• Cleaning table after meals.
• Helping with meal preparations (learning to measure, stir and use small appliances).
• Spread butter on sandwiches.
• Prepare cold cereal.
• Help mother prepare plates of food for the family dinner.
• Make a simple dessert (add topping to cupcakes, pour the toppings on ice cream).
• Hold the hand mixer to whip potatoes or mix up a cake.
• Setting the table.
• Taking out the trash.
• Helping make decisions about meal choices, outings, time with friends, etc.
• Carrying groceries in from the car and putting them away.
• Help with grocery shopping and compiling a grocery list.
• Polish shoes and clean up afterwards.
• Follow a schedule for feeding pets.
• Help do the dishes or fill the dishwasher.
• Dust the furniture.
• Share toys with friends (practice courtesy).
• Tell parent his whereabouts before going out to play.
• Play without constant adult supervision and attention.
• Polish silver.
• Polish car.
• Sharpen pencils.

5 - 6 years

• Unsupervised responsibilities (making bed, washing out trash cans, etc.).
• More complicated meal preparations (making frozen juice, toast, scrambling eggs, cutting with blunt knife, baking).
• Make own sandwich or simple breakfast, then clean up.
• Pour own drink.
• Prepare the dinner table.
• Tear up lettuce for the salad.
• Helping with younger siblings (changing diapers, helping with bath, bottle feeding, entertaining while mom is out of the room, feeding/dressing toddler siblings).
• Laundry (sorting, learning to use the washer/dryer, measuring detergent,fold clean clothes and put them away.).
• Cleaning (using cleaning supplies properly, cleaning unsupervised areas like bathtub or polishing furniture, clean mirrors and windows).
• Sons -- carrying "heavy" things for mom and helping with yard work.
• By this time child will begin to carry out responsibilities unasked and begin to offer help in areas parents don't require help in.
• Make bed and clean room.
• Dress on own and choose outfit for the day.
• Learn to tie shoes.
• Answer the telephone and begin to dial the phone.
• Yard work.
• Pay for small purchases.
• Help clean out the car.
• Take out the garbage.
• Decide how he wants to spend his share of the family entertainment fund.
• Feed his pets and clean the living area.

6 - 7 years

• Simple meals prepared (making sandwiches for lunch, preparing drinks, fixing breakfast for mom and dad, preparing salad for dinner, peel vegetables).
• Regular quiet time becoming a part of daily routine.
• Totally unsupervised laundry responsibilities when needed.
• Increased responsibilities for younger siblings (dressing infants/toddlers, entertaining them for longer periods by reading to them/playing records, etc., helping school them).
• Learning the purpose and beginning usage of tools (lawn mower, hand tools, etc.) and helping with home maintenance.
• Shake rugs.
• Water plants and flowers.
• Prepare own school lunch.
• Help hang clothes on the clothesline.
• Hang up own clothes in the closet.
• Gather wood for the fireplace.
• Rake leaves and weed.
• Tie own shoes.
• Care for his own minor injuries.
• Keep the garbage container clean.
• Clean out inside of car.
• Straighten or clean out silverware drawer.
• Oil and care for bike.
• Take phone messages.
• Run errands for parents.
• Sweep and wash patio area.
• Water the lawn.
• Wash dog or cat.
• Train pets.
• Take pet for walk.
• Carry in the grocery sacks.
• Get self up in the morning and go to bed at night on own.
• Learn to be polite, courteous, and to share; respect others.
• Carry own lunch money and notes back to school.
• Leave the bathroom in order.
• Do simple ironing.

8 - 10 years

• Complete responsibility for their rooms on a daily basis (bed making, dresser drawers, closet, vacuuming, etc.).
• Unsupervised yard work (i.e., lawn mowing, edging, clean-up, gardening).
• More complex meal preparations (pour and make tea, coffee, and instant drinks, using sharp instruments, baking, using appliances, beginning meal planning).
• More difficult cleaning projects (scrubbing kitchen floor, windows, cleaning appliances).
  Summer jobs (lawn mowing, dog sitting, babysitting, odd jobs for vacationers).
• Financial planning (computing percentages for saving, tithing, offerings, gift-giving and assuming responsibility with parental oversight).
• Beginning car maintenance (helping dad with minor repairs, learning tool usage, washing/waxing).
• Help rearrange furniture. Help plan the layout.
• Run own bathwater.
• Help others with their work when asked.
• Shop for and select own clothing and shoes with parent.
• Change school clothes without being told.
• Fold blankets.
• Sew buttons and sew rips in seams.
• Clean storage room.
• Clean up animal "messes" in the yard and house.
• Cut flowers and make a centerpiece.
• Pick fruit off trees.
• Build a campfire, get items ready to cook out (charcoal, hamburgers).
• Paint fence or shelves.
• Help write simple letters.
• Write thank-you notes.
• Help with defrosting and cleaning the refrigerator.
• Feed the baby.
• Polish silverware, copper, or brass items.
• Clean patio furniture.
• Wax living room furniture.
• Change sheets and put dirty sheets in hamper.
• Buy groceries using a list and comparative shopping.
• Cross streets unassisted.
• Keep own appointments.
• Receive and answer own mail.
• Wait on guests.
• Plan own birthday.
• Simple first aid.
  Do neighborhood chores.
• Sew, knit, or weave (even using a sewing machine).
• Do chores without a reminder.
• Learn banking and to be thrifty and trustworthy.
• Handle sums of money up to $5.00.
• Be alone at home for short periods.
  Take the city bus to selected destinations.
• Proper conduct when staying overnight with a friend. Pack own suitcase.
• Responsible for personal hobby.
• Handle self properly when in public places alone or with peers.

11 - 12 years

• Join outside organizations, do assignments, and attend. Able to take responsibility as a leader.
• Put siblings to bed and dress them.
• Clean pool and pool area.
• Respect others' property.
• Run own errands.
• Mow lawn with supervision.
• Help Father build things and do family errands.
• Schedule himself time for studies.
• Buy own sweets or treats.
• Responsible for a paper route.
• Check and add oil to car under supervision.

13 - 15 years

• Determine how late he should stay up during the week. Also determine how late he should be out for evening gatherings (through mutual parent-child discussion and agreement).
  Responsibility for preparing family meals.
• Social awareness: good health, exercise, necessary rest, correct weight, nutritious food, physical examinations.
• Anticipate the needs of others and initiate the appropriate action.
• Acceptance of capabilities and limitations.
• Self-respect or individual worth.
• Responsibility for one's decision.
• Mutual respect, loyalty, and honesty in the family.

What Children Must Realize

Children need to realize that they don't run the household and that there are distinct differences between children and adults. Too often parents take it for granted that children instinctively know this. These differences must be outlined so there is no ambiguity. Do your children know these differences?

• Children are not adults.
• Children have no authority over adults.
• Children do not tell adults what to do, how to speak, or how to act.
• Children do not make demands on adults.
• Children do not correct adults.
• Children do not interfere with or interject their comments or opinions in conversations held between adults.
• Children are expected to follow directions and requests made by adults. Adults may give a reason but are not required to explain or justify their actions or decisions to children.
• Children are not allowed to ask for an explanation or to demand a justification for an action or decision made by an adult. In other words, children should not be allowed to ask “why?” and adults should not be required to explain “why” to children.
• Children may have some choices, privileges and freedoms, but only those choices, privileges and freedoms that are given to them by their parents.
• Adults will always have special privileges.
• Children have no right to question the fairness of the special privileges or behaviors enjoyed by adults.
• Children have a legal right to adequate food, shelter, education, medical care and clothing. Parents are not required to give their children anything else. Parents are not required to be generous with their time, money or personal belongings.
• Children are not allowed to hit, kick, stomp, slam doors, throw anything or use any other physical or verbal means to express dissatisfaction or anger with a statement or a decision made by a parent or adult.
• Children are not allowed to hurt anyone or force anyone to do anything
• Children make a conscious choice to follow or break a house rule or treat parents or other adults in a disrespectful and discourteous manner
• Children must realize that the consequences for breaking a house rule may result in the loss of some freedom, choices and privileges.
• Children may not use the excuse that they did not know about a house rule or that they did not understand what type of behavior was expected. If a child is in doubt about a certain behavior or action, the child is expected to ask a parent or an adult beforehand whether that type of behavior or action is acceptable before engaging in the behavior.
• Children may not use “I didn’t know” or “No one told me” as an excuse for inappropriate behavior.

Stop Feeling Guilty

Many parents who struggle with disciplinary issues exhibit the types of behavior that actually reinforce negative behaviors in their children. Because "quality family time" is so scarce, more and more parents are reluctant to discipline their children because they don't want to ruin "family time" or "increase their own stress level."

This lack of parental involvement has created a society of "latch key kids" that think they run the household and parents who feel so guilty about not being home that they let their kids get away with almost everything. Add to the mix the guilt parents feel about working two jobs, being divorced, not having enough money, etc. and you get a society of spoiled rotten brats that feel that they are entitled to everything just because they exist.

Despite the strong work ethics that most parents have, they have not seen fit to teach this same work ethic to their children. This has led to a generation we now call the "entitlement generation," which is a generation plagued by children who want "stuff" their parents really can't afford to buy (Ipods, X-Boxes, Designer Clothes, etc.) and parents who work two jobs and still max out their credit cards to buy their children the "stuff" that they can't really afford.

Today's parents have become nothing more than ATM machines and chauffeurs for their children. Parents give children money "just because" they ask for it. They don't require their children to help around the house, they don't assign them daily chores and they don't require them to clean up after themselves. This has created a society of self-centered, selfish, unappreciative and manipulative children that expect that everything will be given to them or that everything will be done for them.

The next time you start to feel guilty about not giving something to your lazy, unappreciative children, remember that your behavior reinforces that they need "stuff" when in reality, what they really need is "discipline" and a parent who can say "NO."